Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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