I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
