Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
