We named our party play list daddy issues
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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