We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
