she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
