Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
