Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
