I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
