A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My pussy is not your playground.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
