i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
