I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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