i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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