I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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