She's JV to your varsity
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
