i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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