Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
True strength comes from lack of pants
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
