His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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