I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
