Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
