singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
