I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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