Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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