i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
