New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
