so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say