i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.