I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.