She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.