U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
