I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The cops high fived after they tackled you
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
