Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
