We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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