singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
