no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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