Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize