I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
