Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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