The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.