Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.