and next time when you feel me up, do it right
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
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I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.