So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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