This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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