Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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