If i come over, it means nothing
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
