I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize