In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
