I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
