Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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