2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
