i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
