Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's paint friendship bongs
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize