He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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