I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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