dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize