Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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