I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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