she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize