when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Operation Purity has been aborted
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
