OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.