I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.