My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.