Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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