Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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