just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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