Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
