My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
