he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
