There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
