My first STD was from a foam party
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
