So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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