I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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