he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
