Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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