so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
