cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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