I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
